There are many ways to determine if you are, in fact, an Alpha Female. While some of the descriptors seem inherently negative, there are many, many positive aspects to the Alpha Female personality.
For example, she is strong and charismatic. People tend to really enjoy her company and know that they are in good hands when she’s involved in a project because she will lead it to success. The Alpha Female is often the center of attention with a gregarious personality, and her tenacity and perseverance are pretty much unrivaled. She is a visionary and is great at mustering her courage when needed. She is precisely the kind of outstanding employee, volunteer, family member, and leader that others hope for.
These are all great things, but there are down sides to being an Alpha Female. She continually measures herself according to someone else’s ruler. She strives to gain external confirmation of her success, often becoming a work-aholic with unrealistic expectations for herself. And, when those impossible expectations aren’t met, she becomes highly critical of herself. She tends to be overloaded in nearly every facet of her life, choosing to do so in order to feel like she is capable enough. But, there is a catch. No matter how hard we work or how many accomplishments and checks on the checklist we make, it will never be enough.
While the Alpha Female’s life looks perfect on paper — she likely has a beautiful home, an impeccably kept yard with flowers popping up at just the right time, the kids dressed and spit-shined for the week’s religious service, and a lively update in the perfectly-timed Christmas cards detailing her family’s many achievements and travel over the previous year — looks are deceiving. While she appears to have everything while she appears to have everything in order on the outside, she is struggling with internal conflict.
in order on the outside, she is struggling with internal conflict. She is constantly judging herself and coming up lacking. The attacking, critical internal narrative becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and major stressor. The Alpha Female measures her self -worth based on accomplishments, accolades, productivity, and recognition from external sources. She is on a treadmill, running at full speed toward the next source of validation but never actually reaching a destination where she can stop and rest for a while or even take regular, healthy “breathers”.
There is pride in being a driven person, in giving your best to what you choose to do. Unfortunately for the Alpha Female, however, she often doesn’t recognize that she has a choice in what she does or thinks. Instead, she feels the need to do it all and expects the outcome to always be perfect. She is constantly striving for acceptance, to feel valued and appreciated, and so, often, her choices are made because she fears missing out on these things. Her head will easily override her heart’s opinions and insights.